I pace around my room frustrated. Sleep has deluded me again. This has become so common now that I have started to think I have some sort of sleeping disorder. I have tried everything to get back to sleep… I have even popped a pain killer to fall asleep. But nothing worked and here I am pacing around in the middle of the night.
The room feels so stuffed and suffocating. I decide to get some fresh air. I tip-toe to balcony keeping in mind not to wake others. I close the door from outside and let out a sigh. The night is lovely… the cool breeze is blowing gently. The sky is clear and beautiful with a full moon and stars. I look at the sky and marvel its beauty. In vain I try to focus on the full moon but my mind starts drifting to my clouded thoughts… the thoughts that have been haunting me since the day my best friend got married… a week ago.
Hers was a fairytale love story… the kinds on which the movies are based. She had a crush on her sister’s best friend. That crush turned to infatuation and then finally in to love. The feelings were mutual. He proposed and they had been together for 5 years. In the beginning of this year they both decided it’s high time they made it official. They spoke to their parents and their parents had no problem with it. Why would they? They both belonged to caste and community. On top of it the pundits has said that it was a match made in heaven. Today they have flown to Maldives for their honeymoon. But not every love story is a fairytale… certainly mine isn’t.
Fours years ago I met him. It wasn’t love at 1st site or anything, infact I remember thinking that he was the most the arrogant and rude guy I have ever met. We were acquaintances at first. That turned into friendship and within no time we were in love. None of us can exactly point out when we fell in love. We have different stories and we disagree with each other. The saying ‘opposites attract’ is certainly true in our case. He isn’t the Prince Charming that I have always dreamed of but he is what I need. I think we both have been destined to be together. No one else could make us feel the way we feel about each other. We make each go through every emotion that is known to man. We are perfect for each other and we love each other more than anything/one in the world. But we don’t belong to the same caste and that’s a bigger problem than anyone can imagine.
Seven years ago my cousin sister did the same mistake (according to my family) of falling in love with a guy outside our community. She did an even bigger mistake by marrying the guy she loved going against the whole family. The day she had made that decision, she had been out cast from the family. Even after all these years it isn’t still forgotten or forgiven by some. Till date they think of it as a disgrace on our family. This incident should have made me think a lot before getting committed for life. But I dint. I went with what my heart wanted… HIM. And also I thought things would change with times but they dint. I dread the day this truth comes out… those days will be the worst days of my life.
Now I was facing most crucial questions of my life –
Him or Family?
Life time of happiness or Pride?
Or would things be different in my case?
I look up that sky, hoping that the answers were out there… somewhere. But the sky seems to be giving me the same answer like always, ‘It’s your life and your decision. Nobody else can make it for you. Only you can live your life’.
PS- This is a work of fiction and I hope its treated that way :).